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A successful career as a comic takes hard work, discipline, and yeah...talent!. Comedy insider Episode “Climbing the ladder” Christian Thom: Hi Christian Thom here and I am here down on Wall Street. And let me tell you its dog eat dog here, the bulls the bears, the stocks the bonds. The free martini lunches, the Hamptons, the Asian massage parlors. The kind of place where men are men because they spend all day in an air conditioned office, selling things that other people make. The analyst wants to be a broker. The broker wants to manage hedge funds. And the hedge fund manager, he wants to be god, or with the right networking gods boss. Alright so let’s face it these guys are uh… But so are comics, we just keep different hours and we don’t have health care. But the bottom line is everyone is trying to get ahead and comedians are no different. From open mics, to bringer shows, to hosting, featuring, and finally headlining, standup is the underground rat race of New York City. And tonight comic Keith Alberstadt is going to tell us all about it. Keith lets talk a little about your progression in the clubs. Keith: Ok, sure. Christian Thom: Every comedian’s progression, climbing those rungs of the ladder. Keith: Ok, well there are different steps involved in comedy when you start out. Some of them are beneficial; some of them are kind of a pain in the ass. You have open mics, which are obviously where everyone starts. No matter what comedian you think of they started out doing an open mic, which is pretty self explanatory. Then you have bringer shows, which means you have to bring X amount of people to a show who are going to pay for the cover charge plus a 2 drink minimum. Christian Thom: Essentially you are paying the club for their space and stage time. Keith: Yeah. Then you got guest sets, where a club will let you do five minutes, ten minutes during a regular show night. So once you get past that door you work the M.C spot. Then from the M.C. you go to the feature level, which is the middle spot. Most clubs in the country operate on the three comic M.C. feature headliner show. And then once you have kind of established that feature role for yourself. Of course the next step is headliner. Yeah why not right, I love baseball, I do. I like the fact that baseball gets behind worthy causes. I don’t know if you saw this but on mothers day they wanted to raise awareness for breast cancer. So they used pink bats, kind of cool right. And to raise awareness for steroids abuse, they used tiny shriveled balls. Christian Thom: And right now you are you are in that tough position of going from a solid feature to a headliner. Keith: Yeah, it is a rough transition. So if you don’t put your foot down and stand up for yourself, a lot of clubs out there are going to go. You know what; this guys a solid feature act. He is just as god as the headliner. If we continue to pay him what we are paying him. We are basically getting two headliners in one show. It is going to be a dynamite show and we don’t have to pay that much money. Christian Thom: No one is just gong to offer you more money and better spots. You have got to be able to ask for it ad be able to execute. Keith: Right sure, absolutely. And sometimes it works on people and sometimes bookers say alright screw you. We don’t need you anymore. Or they will say alright we will give you a shot and they will move you on. I realized a few months ago, I was figuring out what to give up for lent, and I thought you know what; I am going to give up sex. Then I heard the voice of god in my head go, c’mon Keith challenge yourself! What about porn? That’s the spirit. I am catholic and I do drive a lot which is why I noticed that the Vatican came out with the Ten Commandments for motorist. I don’t know if anybody else saw that bit they actually have an official ten commandments for motorist. And I say why not, seeing as how we have totally mastered the original ten, its time for new challenges. Christian Thom: And I am sure you have been in the position here you have been the feature and you got to stretch or hold or even do the headliner spot. Sure I was at a club about a month ago and literally two minutes before I went on stage. The headliner hadn’t shown up yet and then you got to call, that he had to go to the hospital. So I had to do more time, which was fine I have got the material. The rule of thumb is if you are going to do thirty minutes on stage, you better have 45 to an hour. If you only have 30 and you want to be a feature you are probably not going to do that well. Christian Thom: No in general I try to write three times as much as I am going to do. Just to make me feel comfortable. Keith: Yeah you got to be prepared. A lot of people get into arguments with their spouses what they want to name their baby. Right they want to name it different things so they argue. I don’t think that is cool man I think you should uh… Here is what I think, I think if you ever have an argument with your husband or wife about what to name the baby, I think you should concede. Let them name it whatever they want to name it, and then to show your dissatisfaction and a little bit of sarcasm. The rest of that kid’s life whenever you say his name use air quotes. That’s a good compromise. That’s a good tee ball game you had there, Clifton. That was great. That was great acting in that school play there “Clifton” played one hell of a tin man. Anyway we can keep his name for you, would that be possible. When I first started closing a room, moving from feature to headliner I just thought naively, you know what its just fifteen more minutes. Which is not, and it was not a problem. The actual act of doing more material wasn’t an issue. The issue was the little things of the checks are being dropped. You know where you lose an audience for five minutes where they are worried about who had the chicken wings. Christian Thom: And half of them are drunk by that time anyway. Keith: They are drunk, depending on the room you got to put up with a little more rowdy crowd, maybe a little more inattentive. Christian Thom: You got to pull them in and work harder because they don’t want to pay attention; they have laughed for three hours at this point. Keith: There are certain hurdles to overcome when you reach that level. It is not just about the more time on stage, and learning that, learning the differences and adjusting. It is the challenge that you got to tackle in order to make that step and then sustain it. And stay there and not get demoted which has happened before to a lot of people. I like New York I do, my friends in Nashville have a very stereo typical view of what living here is like. Whenever I talk to them they ask me nothing but generalization type questions like. Have you gotten mugged yet? What’s that like? Does that hurt? Or do you carry a weapon? Yeah I do carry a weapon but it is not conventional, I carry outdated technology because muggers hate that. They walk up to me and go give me all your! Is that a cassette walkman? But I need to say that you know the success just like any other career is defined differently. I have met some people they are still the house M.C. in a particular city, in a particular club. Because they have got a family there, they like the city. They don’t like to travel because they are living out of a suitcase. But they write all the time, they have got something to say and they have got a different ten minute in that M.C. spot every time I see them. They don’t see it in titles and levels and stages. They see it as you know I am doing stand up. And they are happy and that’s fine. Some people are jut happy doing the road and working the road and not being really a national name. If they are happy that is fine. Success to be philosophical can’t be defined, at least succinctly. Christian Thom: Yeah the top of the mountain is clouded in vapor. Keith: Exactly, yeah that’s a good visual. So yeah there you have it. See you later have a good night.

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